Top ten ways to make an academic happy

10. Free Danish pastries available in the staff kitchen at 11 o' clock!

9. A student says something really complimentary about your teaching on their course evaluation form.

8. You get that research grant you applied for. (Modest joy, because administrative hassles lie ahead...)

7. That student who caused you endless administrative hassles has just completed a degree and left the University.

6. You manage find a car parking space in the nearer of the car parks to the department building, when you arrive at work well after 9am.

5. Your paper gets accepted to a prestigious journal, with only minor corrections required.

4. Your research student passes the PhD viva with flying colours.

3. Your application for a sabbatical is successful.

2. Undergraduate teaching finishes for the summer.

1. The sword of the internal teaching quality audit passes overhead, choosing to impale some other department in the university instead.