More brickbats raining down on my head.
*ouch* *ouch* *OUCH*.
Once again, they are due to this administrative role.
You don't get any credit for performing the role well, but I certainly don't expect any: in academia you have to get your own job satisfaction by you yourself noting positive things along the way, like the pass rate of the students in your class, or a piece of really good work from a student, or even simply a lack of complaints (no news is really good news around here). Nobody is going to come along and pat you on the head for good work, just like you don't generally compliment your colleagues, because most of the time you don't really know what they are up to. They teach their classes, you teach yours.
But put a foot wrong, and all hell breaks loose. Never mind that very nearly 100% of the time I do a superb job, including being polite and helpful to students and staff, even though I've been under a great deal of stress that makes it very difficult for me to keep being polite and helpful, oh no, never mind that, one time you're accidentally rude when you don't mean to be and BAM that's the time you get noticed and colleagues give you a bollocking.
So once again, I'm stressed, and I can't even deliver a few sharp words in the directions where the major cock-ups have come from because it would get them mad at me and be completely counter-productive. I'm really fed up of taking the rap for situations where the extent of my blame in the situation boils down to me not being clairvoyant, and I'm still waiting for an apology from the person who engineered the latest cock-up. Also the few occasions when the mistake has been mine, not someone else's, I find very upsetting and stressful too. Yes, I'm something of a perfectionist.
Something interesting: I have actually had some positive comments about how well I've been doing this role (which I certainly didn't expect), three of 'em, and as far as I can recall, each of the positive comments came from women in the department. All the bollockings, four of 'em, have come from men. HmmmMMMM.