April 13, 2005

De-stressing an Academic

Lossy's top ten ways for the modern academic to de-stress:

10. Go to bed early and forget about it all for a few hours.

9. Get a foot massage (requires a willing volunteer, but hopefully this shouldn't be too difficult to request from the nearest spouse if you're seen to be stressed and you offer to wash your feet beforehand).

8. Get some nookie, preferably using a selfish position where your spouse has to do all the work :-)

7. Get far far away from everywhere, and wear yourself out walking. (Also see 9.)

6. Move some really heavy things. Not heavy enough to do yourself an injury, you understand, but heavy enough to make you concentrate on what you're lifting.

5. Destroy some vegetation that has no business remaining intact. This is especially fun if it involves:

  • Uprooting trees or shrubs armed only with a spade and your bare hands
  • Chainsaw and a very large tree
  • Big bowsaw with really REALLY big teeth, and a trunk to take out your frustration on
  • Industrial-sized shredder (the noisier and messier the better)

4. Make a huge mess and laugh yourself silly at all the mess you've caused (works better if it doesn't take too long to clear up).

3. Make a LOT of noise. (Also see 6.) This works even better if it's not likely to land you with a ASBO.

2. Smack the living daylights out of a small rubber object (preferably with minimal risk of it doing any harm to anyone else). Works even better if you win the game.

1. Float on your back in warm Meditarranean waters off a quiet beach.

I got to do four of those over and around Easter. Such a pity the effect lasts such a short time once back in the office...


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